Email Question: Good Guy vs Bad Boy

Here is another email question.  Keep them coming! This question I love, Good Guy Vs. Bad Boy.  Personally, I don’t want either. I want a nerdy man, maybe a little odd, that has the ability to make me laugh and we can be silly together.  But I guess I have to break down the good and the bad to answer this question, huh?

When I was younger my Father told me date 100 men.  He didn’t mean have sex with a 100 men.  He just meant to go out and date as many men as possible to find what I really wanted in a life partner.  I don’t think I’ve dated 100 guys but certainly I have dated.  I’ve dated my fair share of “Good Guys” and “Bad Boys”.   When it comes to guys, I have learned you can not change someone, nor should you try.  A “Good Guy” and a “Bad Boy” will always be who they are.  With that being said, I think a “Good Guy” and a “Bad Boy” could easily momentarily change with the right hands.  The key though to dating a “Good Guy” and a “Bad Boy” is embracing what each man brings to the table.  You could just as easily turn a “Good Guy” into a “Bad Boy” and visa versa. 

When it comes to Bad Boys you know what you’re getting.  You’re getting a guy that is more than likely selfish, arrogant and an asshole.  But you know what, you know exactly who you are getting involved with.  When I started dating Airbump Chest Guy, I was trying to move on again from BigRed (Ultimate Bad Boy).  I was by no means interested in Airbump Chest Guy.  He was showy, full of himself and was lacking in the brains department.  Still he chased me around town like a kid on crack.  I remember avoiding him and somehow he had radar and would find me at whatever bar I went to.  I remember walking down the street away from him and he ran after me, grabbed me and then kissed me.  I was in shock.  I ended up dating Airbump Chest Guy for a longer than I expected.  At this point in time I just wanted company and someone that was entertaining, which he was.  When he talked to me his eyes bulged right out of his face.  I was constantly saying, “You’re talking to me again with your crazy eyes.”  The only lesson I learned from this “Bad Boy” was figuring out the best time to end it with someone you’re dating.


When it comes to a lot of “Good Guys” that I’ve dated, I’ve not had that much attraction to them.  The only part that I was attracted to was the fact that that they were a “Good Guy”.  Typically though, they were always a little too straight edge, not enough weird for me.  Not to say straight edge isn’t attractive, it’s very attractive.  Maybe I mean to say uptight.  They were unable to really let loose every now and then.  Sometimes a girl wants to air Lightsaber fight and if you’re not into pretending you have a laser sword in your hands than this really can’t go any where.


When I was 19 my boyfriend was a man far too old for me, still he was a "Good Guy".  He showered me with love and attention and would do anything in his power for me.  We dated for awhile but then broke up when I felt I wasn't getting enough attention.  All of this occurred after 9-11.  In fact, I remember watching the planes take off from his condo.  After 9-11 he had to spend more and more time at the office because his company was falling apart due to the recent trauma.  I unfortunately didn't see this as an opportunity to be supportive of his needs to focus on his company.   I couldn't see past him not showering me with the affection he once did.  I couldn't see past my own selfish needs.  I for sure learned a big lesson.  We did stay friends though and he has taught me many valuable lessons ever since.

When it comes to finding a “Good Guy” a girl has to be careful.  Many men pose as a “Good Guy” but just end up being a “Bad Boy”.  When it comes down to it you can’t help who you fall for, it just happens, so why fight it.

PS: There is a reason why they call “Bad Boys” bad boys, because that’s what they are, bad little boys.  When you’re ready for a “Good Guy” you’ll get a Good Man not a boy.