Email Question: Help! My girlfriend is obsessed with me. We are constantly together and she is constantly making plans for me...It’s a wedding here, a trip there, a double date with her best friend...I just want to hang out every now and then with my buddies or be by myself or hang out at the house and do nothing. And she’s constantly talking about our future, like what our wedding will be like. She sends emails and text messages all day long. Why can’t she chill out?
First off, quit your bitching. You are lucky that you have a girl that loves you this much. Second of all, this is what girls do...We nest...we invest...and we transgress. We girls (Not all) love to go overboard. On the plus side, more than likely you’re giving it to her good. You probably do something she’s never experienced before. Actually, this goes for guys and girls...I’ve seen guys obsess...Maybe even more so. Men can’t believe what they got to try out last night or how it felt. This goes for inside and outside the bedroom. People may become obsessed with someone because being around them makes them feel different or gives them a new prospective. So kudos for whatever it is you’re doing to her that makes her obsess over you.
Now, on to what you could do to help the situation...Plain and simple, talk to her. Tell her how you feel and what you are thinking. In a nice way though. Try to be diplomatic, don’t just upchuck the words. Think before you speak. When I was with Captain America, he would come home from work and I would jump up like a little puppy dog and run to the door to greet him. I would cover him in kisses. After awhile, he told me it was too much for him. He needed a little space when he got home to decompress. So I gave him space. I didn’t jump up any more. I respected his wishes...Until he asked why I stopped greeting him at the door? “You said you need time to yourself when you first get home.” “Yeah...I changed my mind. I miss it.” So I found a balance. I would give him exactly one minute to walk through the door, put his bag down and then I would leap on top of him. I know I sound like a puppy dog...And I really don’t care. It’s awesome being in love.
You need to communicate when things are working and when they are not working. Most of the time people will give clues and signals but nothing is as strong a demonstration as telling someone when something feels good or when something bothers you. This relationship can work out...Just tell her you need some time to yourself, you like her friends but you need time with your friends too. Remind her, that each of you doing your own thing, maybe once a week, will help bring the two of you closer together. Tell her you’ll probably end up missing her, you’ll feel closer to her and you’ll have more to talk about. You may want to ask her to tone down the communicating through out the day just a tad...Say it in a nice way...Something like: “I really do love catching up with you through out the day but too much of it distracts me...I’d much rather have you distract me when I see you.” Do not text, Facebook or email this. Say it to her in person and use your cutest voice, gestures and make sure to be giving her a hug. It sounds like she could feel disconnected from you in some way, shape or form. She may just need to know you think about her or maybe she doesn’t feel secure within your relationship. And don’t forget to take it as a compliment that she loves you just a little too much...just learn to communicate with her as best you can. Sometimes all a girl needs to know is that you think about her, you care about her and/or she feels a sense of security.
PS. I love obsessive love...If you think I don’t act this way...You’re wrong. I can get very wrapped up in someone...Um, hello, I’m a writer and a blogger...Sometimes obsessing is all I do.