Here is another email question. Keep them coming! This question I love, Good Guy Vs. Bad Boy. Personally, I don’t want either. I want a nerdy man, maybe a little odd, that has the ability to make me laugh and we can be silly together. But I guess I have to break down the good and the bad to answer this question, huh?
When I was younger my Father told me date 100 men. He didn’t mean have sex with a 100 men. He just meant to go out and date as many men as possible to find what I really wanted in a life partner. I don’t think I’ve dated 100 guys but certainly I have dated. I’ve dated my fair share of “Good Guys” and “Bad Boys”. When it comes to guys, I have learned you can not change someone, nor should you try. A “Good Guy” and a “Bad Boy” will always be who they are. With that being said, I think a “Good Guy” and a “Bad Boy” could easily momentarily change with the right hands. The key though to dating a “Good Guy” and a “Bad Boy” is embracing what each man brings to the table. You could just as easily turn a “Good Guy” into a “Bad Boy” and visa versa.
When it comes to Bad Boys you know what you’re getting. You’re getting a guy that is more than likely selfish, arrogant and an asshole. But you know what, you know exactly who you are getting involved with. When I started dating Airbump Chest Guy, I was trying to move on again from BigRed (Ultimate Bad Boy). I was by no means interested in Airbump Chest Guy. He was showy, full of himself and was lacking in the brains department. Still he chased me around town like a kid on crack. I remember avoiding him and somehow he had radar and would find me at whatever bar I went to. I remember walking down the street away from him and he ran after me, grabbed me and then kissed me. I was in shock. I ended up dating Airbump Chest Guy for a longer than I expected. At this point in time I just wanted company and someone that was entertaining, which he was. When he talked to me his eyes bulged right out of his face. I was constantly saying, “You’re talking to me again with your crazy eyes.” The only lesson I learned from this “Bad Boy” was figuring out the best time to end it with someone you’re dating.
When it comes to a lot of “Good Guys” that I’ve dated, I’ve not had that much attraction to them. The only part that I was attracted to was the fact that that they were a “Good Guy”. Typically though, they were always a little too straight edge, not enough weird for me. Not to say straight edge isn’t attractive, it’s very attractive. Maybe I mean to say uptight. They were unable to really let loose every now and then. Sometimes a girl wants to air Lightsaber fight and if you’re not into pretending you have a laser sword in your hands than this really can’t go any where.
When I was 19 my boyfriend was a man far too old for me, still he was a "Good Guy". He showered me with love and attention and would do anything in his power for me. We dated for awhile but then broke up when I felt I wasn't getting enough attention. All of this occurred after 9-11. In fact, I remember watching the planes take off from his condo. After 9-11 he had to spend more and more time at the office because his company was falling apart due to the recent trauma. I unfortunately didn't see this as an opportunity to be supportive of his needs to focus on his company. I couldn't see past him not showering me with the affection he once did. I couldn't see past my own selfish needs. I for sure learned a big lesson. We did stay friends though and he has taught me many valuable lessons ever since.
When it comes to finding a “Good Guy” a girl has to be careful. Many men pose as a “Good Guy” but just end up being a “Bad Boy”. When it comes down to it you can’t help who you fall for, it just happens, so why fight it.
PS: There is a reason why they call “Bad Boys” bad boys, because that’s what they are, bad little boys. When you’re ready for a “Good Guy” you’ll get a Good Man not a boy.