“I was walking behind your parents the other night. They were holding hands, walking up main street. I turned to my husband and said, ‘I hope we’re like that when we get older.’”
This is something a friend of mine said to me awhile back. She thought it was so cute to see my little 5 foot 2" redheaded Mother hold on dearly to my 6’6” Father’s hand as they took an evening stroll up Nantucket’s Main Street. Her statement didn’t shock me. For as long as I can remember my parents have been big hand holders. Sometimes they hold each other’s hand while out to a restaurant. Other times the two of them are just out for a walk, holding hands. I have seen my Father on a few occasions hold onto my Mother’s hand when she was upset or sad. My parents look very natural in this hand holding position...Almost like the physical act of holding each other’s hand is calming and therapeutic. It made me wonder and curious as to why.
There was a specific moment when I realized just how natural and wonderful hand holding is. When my last niece was born a few years ago, we were all driving in my sister’s gold mini-van in Ma-Chicken. (My niece’s pronunciation for Michigan.) My sister and my Mother were up front in the drivers and passenger seats. My eldest, was about two at the time and newest niece, was about six months, they were in their individual car seats in the middle row. Myself, I was in the back seat with my right ear hanging on every word my eldest niece was saying. The things she would say would and do crack me up. After a few minutes of driving, I watched my eldest niece move her little tiny fingers towards my newest niece’s hand. For the next 15 minutes I watched as they held onto each other. Two little babies holding each other's hand. It brought tears to my eyes to see this sweet simple sight. I knew then that hand holding is not something we learn, it’s something we do from the time we are young. It’s natural.
From my own experience, I have had some hand holding magical moments. I remember on my first date with Captain America we went to a summer action movie. In the middle of a fight scene, I felt him reach for my fingers and cup my little palm in his. Another favorite magical moment, BigRed and I used to go get smoothies and hold each other’s hand during our little smoothie outings. We would hold hands, look into each other's eyes as we sipped on our banana-strawberry smoothie. And then there was a thankful hand holding moment was with More-Yes. He held onto my hand the first time I gave blood...He looked into my eyes filled with tears and held on tight. Yes, I would have to say hand holding is beautiful.
I have also had my own hand holding blunders. Caught up in a moment, I have gone to hold a date’s hand and it’s quickly rejected. Hurt, instantly I know this particular relationship isn’t going anywhere. I have also been in a flip-side situation. Once while I was driving, Piano Man and I were holding hands. I had to switch gears, so I unfolded my hand from his but found myself trying to shake away from his kung fu grip . I switched to third gear and he immediately went for my hand. I quickly moved my gear shifting hand to the steering wheel and held on dearly. It was at that very moment I knew we wouldn’t last.
I have a gift, I can tell a lot by how two people physically interact. Actually, I think most of us have this ability. Maybe this is why someone may cling to a person or why someone becomes distant...Desperate or scared about the truth of our relationship. Hand holding can tell us a lot about ourselves and about the ones we care about. There are also health benefits to hand holding. Let us take a look...
The Truths of Hand Holding:
-Holding someone’s hand is a great way to show affection to all of those you care for not just significant others but family and friends. I love jaunting around a party holding a friend’s hand.
-Holding hands in public is a great way to display when you are proud to be with the person you are with. For me, if someone doesn’t want to hold my hand in public, then I know this person is not fully into the romantic relationship. Next time, when you want to be sure someone is really into you, try holding their hand in public. If they care and are proud to be seen with you this should not be a problem.
-Holding hands is also a way to be physically connected to someone. For me, holding someone’s hand is such an intimate moment, more so than a quick kiss to the lips. Holding someone’s hand is lingering and special.
-Relationship Barometer: How does it feel holding this person’s hand? Uncomfortable? Awkward? Delightful? Natural? Sweet?
-Holding someone’s hand relieves stress. A study at University of Virginia found that when a stressful situation or when you’re upset, having someone hold your hand lessens the stress within the brain and body. So, the next time you have a bad day, feeling stressed or you get into a fight, try holding someone’s hand. It just may make you feel better.