Sunday, September 18, 2011

Never Settle

When I was little, everyday my Mother would drive myself and my sisters to school.  (My Father drove my brothers to their school.)  During this drive she would always say two phrases to us everyday. 

Momma Bear: “What are you girls never going to do?”

Girls in unison: “Depend on a man!”

I’ll get into her meaning behind this phrase at a later date.  What I want to talk about today is the second phrase she would say to us, “Never settle.”

This phrase, “Never settle” was a thought that was engraved into my brain from a very early age.  I have always thought that I have never settled, especially in the love department.  This was my belief until recently when I truly got the meaning behind my Mother’s words.  My cousin/best friend and I were discussing our current love lives.  I was going over the autopsy of my last relationship and I came to the conclusion that I was settling.  Why did I settle?  Because I wanted to believe that this person was right for me.  When in-fact, they weren’t.  When taking a cold hard look at the relationship I made a discovery.  Yes, there were many aspects of this person that I was drawn to and loved.  But they were not everything I wanted or needed.  I was settling for something less than what I truly needed and wanted.  My cousin said to me, “I didn’t think he was enough for you.”  She was right, but I wanted so bad for him to be enough.  This is why I gave up and settled.  I now know you can not settle for anything less than everything you want, even when you love that person.  Life is too short and there are too many possibilities out there to spend time with someone that is not everything you want.  “Be particular” as my Mother has said to me.

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