Friday, September 16, 2011

Email Question: Meeting the Family

Email question: When is the right time to bring someone home to meet your family?

Honestly, you’re asking the wrong girl.  I have only brought home two of my boyfriends.  At a very young age, I wanted to bring home one guy, the man I would marry.  Reason number 1: My family is a little crazy and it’s like my Big Fat Greek Wedding when we’re all together.  It can be a lot for someone to handle us.  I remember watching my brother-in-law at the Thanksgiving table before he became my brother-in-law.  He was in shock with all of the noise and the 30 different conversations that were occurring all at once. Reason number 2: I didn’t want the man that I bring home to feel anything but number 1 in my love life or to be compared to anyone else.  If I’m bringing you home, in my book, you’re number 1 and the only one that matters.

So, after Captain America and I had been officially in a relationship for over a year and we were planning on getting married, I thought maybe now is the right time for him to meet my family.  I made all the proper warnings.  “My family can be a little much.”  “Don’t call my Father by his first name, until he tells you it’s ok to do so.”  “No public displays of affection in front of my parents.”  I tried to brush him up on his manners as much as possible.  I didn’t want to make waves and I wanted to make sure that my family loved the man that I loved and was planning on marrying.  To be honest, everything went swimmingly with most of my family.  My Mother loved him.  He was already friends with my brothers. (That’s how we met.)  My sisters were just happy that I was happy.  My Father on the other hand was not a fan of Captain America.  Captain America and I used to laugh and say the situation was like the movie Meet The Parents.  Even to this day, if someone mentions Captain America's name my Father gets upset and says, “Thank God she didn’t marry him.”  A little harsh, but also validates the ending of our relationship. 

The other boyfriend that I threw to the wolves aka brought home was More-Yes.  He came home to my family’s house for Thanksgiving.  We had only been dating for about two weeks.  At this point in time, I didn’t care what my family thought.  All my rules went out the door.  My reasoning for inviting More-Yes was because he was away from his family, I wanted him to have a nice meal since he works so hard and if this relationship were to go anywhere, he better know what kind of family I come from.  I figured if he could handle my family, then he could handle me.  Bringing a man home to my family I guessed would be a quick way to weed out the weak suitors.  My family loved More-Yes, especially my Father.  “When is More-Yes coming over again?  I want to talk with him about guns.”  “Oh! More-Yes is coming over!”  If More-Yes and I continued dating I’m pretty sure my Father would try his hardest to become best friends with More-Yes.  Maybe even try to start a Bro-mance.

When it comes to bringing someone home for the first time, it is of course nerve racking.  You really like this person and you want your family to like them as well.  It is my belief if you have chosen wisely, the person you bring home will get along with your family.  They are apart of you after all.  A little bit of your family is inside of you.  On the timing, do what feels right.  If you think you’re ready and they are ready to meet your family then great, go for it!  If things do not work out right at first, give it time and put in a little work.  Most of the time the family is just trying to be protective. Remember to not misjudge nervousness.  Just because you’re nervous doesn’t mean that something isn’t right.  It just means that you care.   

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