Thursday, March 11, 2010

Verbal Abuse

The other day I was spending the afternoon with one of my favorite males in my life, my Father. The day consisted of a trip to the gun store, lunch, a movie and then some shopping. With my Father, the conversation always leads to discussions about guns, motorcycles or health, go figure right. My father is a brilliant man, who is kind and completely and totally in love with my Mother for almost 40 years now. So naturally, while we were at lunch, I was in shock when we over heard a conversation that was taking place at the table right behind us.

The husband was belittling his wife, calling her names such as lazy and fat. He even went so far as to say he could have done so much better than she. I beg a differ, she could have done better than the gutless little boy that you are. Nothing frustrates me more than a man criticizing a woman for how she looks, especially when that woman is the mother of your children. A real man provides for and protects the women in his life and should hold his wife above all others. This is your chosen partner. He also sets the example for other men in community. I could write for days on this subject, but I will spare you.

The beating down of his wife’s self esteem went on and on. This poor woman was very quite and every now and then she would voice a soft whisper of “I’m sorry". It broke my heart and looking back I should have punched the guy on my way to the bathroom and put him in his place. Unfortunately, as I get older I am trying to hold my tongue and keep my fist at my side. I always seem to get my self in trouble, especially when someone doesn’t even want my help. So, I continued to enjoy my Father’s company and the discussion of the colt .45 we just saw and tried to forget the incident.

I believe we have all had, at one point or another, someone criticize us for how we look or offer suggestions on how we can improve. I once had a boyfriend that wanted me to under go breast augmentation. Obviously he didn’t love me or else he would not have said such a thing. I don’t even have a small rack (Which wouldn’t be a bad thing) and of course I’m not a double d. In my opinion I have an amazing set of lovely lady lumps. In California I have people stopping me on the street asking where I got my breasts done. Only in Cali right? My reply is always, God my friends, God.

I don’t believe in changing people or molding someone to fit the person you want. You love someone through thick and thin. Sure there will be times when their habits get on your last nerve but you chose your battles. I’m sure you’re no peach either, who really is? When it comes to changing ourselves, the only reason to do so is when it’s for you and only you. You are the person that has to live with any alterations. You have to be strong enough emotionally first before any change on your body, mind or spirit. Wanting to grow as a person and human being is commendable and a tip of the hat to you and your efforts. Just make sure it’s for the right reasons.

When it comes to our bodies we can become critical of ourselves and of other people. We start to compare our bodies with someone else’s body in both a positive and negative light. “Oh she is stick thin.” “Wow, she really gained some weight since I’ve seen her last.” “I wish I had her nose.” We are all built differently and that’s what makes us so beautiful. It’s time to see what is beautiful in ourselves and others. Own what you have, what ever the case may be and be happy for the person whom has a figure you so desire. We would live in a better world if we would all love ourselves for whom ever that person may be.

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