Tuesday, November 15, 2011

How I Got My New Jacket

So there we were, knee deep in a group of rappers and I had my choice of all...When Perfection and I woke up in the morning, we remembered the NYC Marathon was that day.  We got ready and we were about to head out the door when I asked Perfection, “Have you seen my jacket?”  “It’s right there.”  Perfection pointed to the black wool jacket that was in front of me.  I picked it up only to realize, this wasn’t my jacket, at least, I didn't think so.  This was a military style jacket and my jacket was a trench coat.  I put the mystery jacket on.  Since I was running on one cylinder and had the Irish Flu, I thought for a moment since it fit me like a tight glove, “Maybe this is my jacket?”  I was confused but then I quickly remembered my coat didn’t have buttons up and down the front.  Mine was a simple wool trench coat that tied at the waist.  I didn’t know what to think and neither did Perfection.

My friend Perfection and I went to a benefit in NYC the night before, which turned into more than expected or just the right amount of crazy depending on how you look at it.  We started the night off slowly.  We were a bit run down from the night of my arrival into the city.  What was supposed to be a “work night” dinner turned into belly hurting laughter, sangria and a new business plan.  I was only in town for a few days and we jam packed each night and day.  Onto the night in question.  We went to a restaurant Perfection used to frequent when she was just out of college.  This restaurant was great for watching college football and grabbing something tasty to eat.  The Alabama game was on and they were putting up a good fight.  We took our time, watched the game and had dinner.  Then onto the benefit, which was held at a swanky Manhattan lounge.  This benefit had a open bar, which just meant Perfection and I were drinking glasses of Champagne like it was water.  “This is amazing!  I love an open bar!”  We would later come to regret this statement. 

The night rolled on and the drinks rolled in.  The benefit was about four hours long and then this lounge turned into a full on dance club.  Multiple layers of music, dance floors and some sort of light show that I’m sure causes retina damage.  We unfortunately found out that the table that we were sitting at for the benefit was promised to someone else.  If we wanted to reserve the table we would have to partake in the bottle service, which would start at $2000.  We decided we didn’t need to reserve our own table and would just dance until we were told to leave.  Luckily, the group that did have that spot for the night loved having a few girls around.  Each member of the group started showing up and was better looking than the last.  We all danced and enjoyed ourselves.  There was one point when I took in my surroundings and to my delight I was knee deep in R&B stars.  I showed one ridiculously good looking R&B celebrity how to do the robot.  He was either embarrassed by me or impressed by my amazing dancing skills.  Either way it would seem everyone was having a good time.

A few bottles later, the night was coming to an end or the morning was just beginning, depending on how you look at it.  This is where I start to do some time traveling. Between my robot dancing and the pizza gorging Perfection and I did back at the apartment, time was a wee bit fuzzy.  I remember Perfection telling me it was time to leave. I remember a very tall celebrity holding my hand.  I remember running away from said very tall celebrity.  And I remember giving $20 to the pizza delivery guy.

The next morning I woke up and started to check my text messages.  This is a Sunday morning ritual I have come to find very entertaining.  I scroll through the messages seeing who texted me, who I happened to text and what was said.  I particularly love this when I didn’t venture out the night before.  Various friends decide that 2am is the perfect time to convince me that I need to go to an after party with them or recently, I have been getting very photogenic photos from someone that will remain nameless.  This Sunday morning while going through my phone, I came to the conclusion things may not have ended up quite as they should have the night before.  Perfection and I were having the time of our lives, which was not entirely the case for our whole party.  Again, I can’t fill in too many of the details, mainly for my dignity as well as Perfection’s.  Needless to say, Perfection and I decided we both had a bit of penance to partake in to right our wrongs.  First, we needed to figure out how we got this jacket and where my jacket was hiding.  There was one person in our party that remembers entirely what occurred that night and how this jacket came to be my "new" jacket.  From what this person has told me, at the end of the night’s craziness, when it was time for us to be going home, Perfection held up a jacket and asked me if the jacket was mine.  To which I replied, “Yeah!”  In the few years I have known Perfection, I forgot to mention to her that I like to say yes to everything.  It's a reflex of mine.  I also forgot to mention to her that I have a habit of getting distracted quite easily.  So, a very elaborate way of explaining a misunderstanding. Sorry, Perfection for being so silly.

Moral of the story is, enjoy your life, remember to pace yourself and check your coats.  Perfection and I had an amazing night.  We would have had an amazing Sunday if we had paced ourselves, drank more water and a little less Champagne.  Just because it’s free doesn’t mean you need to consume it.  I hope you were entertained.  I know I'm still laughing about it and plan on doing so for many years to come.  I hope I will be able to pass on this story as well as this jacket to my own daughter someday. 

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