Jealously - Green-Eyed Monster

In all of my travels, there is one accent that gets me every time...the Irish accent.  I don’t know what it is about the brogue that makes me weak.  Maybe, because it is always accompanied by a witty, charming Irishman.  When I met a particular Irishman, I was wearing my little black dress that exposed my back fully.  The hem fell past my knees and my stiletto heals framed my calves beautifully.  I was in my early 20s at the time.  He was considerably older than myself.  I remember him grabbing my arm in such a way it made me weak in my knees.  He used my own arm to wrap around my waist, so that our hands and arms were intertwined. I was young and naive but I knew the charm he had over me, and I liked it.

This charm that he had, would only last for so long.  His charming nature, I would find was not just for my attention alone. My jealous fire was red hot at the mere sight of him talking with another girl.  I remember us having fights that would last all night.  I remember fighting with him in the middle of the street.  Our shadows cast by the foreign lamp post.  I would stamp down the street with my lit fuse ready to blow up in his face the moment he said anything that had a certain tone.

“You Americans take things so seriously.  We were just talking, having a laugh.”  This would just set me off.  Americans don’t take many things seriously but what we do, we treasure.  I would say that as a whole, Americans are a possessive bunch.  We don’t share well.  If this was a playground, the Americans would love to play with everyone.  That is until they found something they really liked, then they don’t want any other kid to play with their new friend or toy.  I remember in 2nd grade, I had brought my Barbies into class for people to play with.  I was happy to share all of my buckets and buckets of Barbies with the class, except one Barbie.  She was mine.  One girl in my class put up a fight with the teacher saying I wouldn’t share this one particular Barbie.  I remember making my case to the teacher that there were hundreds of other Barbies that I brought that she could play with, this was my favorite.  My teacher told me I needed to share or else I wouldn’t be able to play.  That day the teacher and that girl made it on my shit list. 

Jealously and petty arguments are a nuisance, unhealthy and time consuming.  With each relationship I have learned to pick my arguments so that when I do make a stink, it’s heard loud and clear.  It has taken me a few relationships to learn to chose my battles carefully, especially where jealous is concerned.  I luckily have learned that there are good guys out there worth holding onto and fighting for.